What do you do when you see someone destroying their life and they know it, but won't do anything about it? I understand that you can't make someone do something they aren't ready for, that's not the issue. The issue is how do you, as someone who loves this individual, allow it not to affect your mental health?
I am so tied into the lives of my loved ones and I don't know how to disentangle myself without completely shutting them out. I listen. I provide guidance. And then when it's ignored and they go back to the same exact thing they swore they wouldn't, I break down. And I worry. Forever.
I want to get to that point where I can just listen and not comment, and then when their rant is over I go back to my life knowing that nothing will change and I'm OK with that. I know people who can do this. Probably my therapist is one of them. But I don't know how not to worry about people once the conversation is over.
And if I do get this down some day, honestly, I worry that I will become unfeeling and dismissive. How do you listen to the same story over and over, knowing the result is always the same, and not let feelings of disgust or disappointment ooze out? I think the only way to do that is to be detached, and I just don't know that I want to be that person.
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