Showing posts with label dementia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dementia. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Mind games


I used to swear by my memory. I could (and still can to some degree) remember the most trival stuff. Phone numbers I haven't dialed in more than 20 years, birthdays of friends long, long forgotten, trivial facts about celebrities that I've long traded in for new arrivals. . .it was really great to have that much faith in something.

Recently (last few years) I've started worrying about the loss of this great ability. I find myself searching for the most basic of terms, especially when I'm talking to someone about something. Example: asking my husband to use the microwave, and I can't even think of the word "microwave". I know what it is, but the word escapes me. Instead I describe what a microwave is, you know, that thing that you put the food in and it cooks it real fast and has a timer. . .ridiculous, i know, but sometimes that's the drill. Like an unending game of Password.

Other times I find that I'm able only to figure out a term or a song title or whathaveyou by going through the alphabet until I come across the letter that starts the word. I feel like that at least challenges me a bit to really think hard on it, but it's funny that so many times when I get to the letter that the name starts with, it's like a lightbulb immediately turns on and I can "see" the name in front of me. Or at least start putting it together and eventually get there.

Never hear anyone else talk about these types of memory losses. Wonder if I'm the only one that plays the alphabet game. Can't imagine I'm alone in all of this, but it doesn't help that when these mind hiccups happen, I start to fret a little that my family history of Alzheimers and dementia could be rearing its ugly head already.

I'm only in my mid-30s, so I know it's too soon. But could this be my warning to get my head in shape so I'm able to handle things better when I'm twice my age? If so, I'm taking notice. I just don't know if I should be doing other things to delay the progress.

Monday, April 12, 2010

2nd verse, same as the first?

Second therapy visit tomorrow and I wonder how it will play out. I feel like I dumped so much on this poor unsuspecting woman the first time that she may want to take the lead on this one. She wants to delve into my past, but I find the more I try to remember things, the harder it is to really know if the memories I'm giving her are true or just what I feel now. How can I answer a question about how something made me feel 25 years ago without letting my present feelings get jumbled up in the process? Sure wish I had total recall and could really feel strongly about the information I'm sharing. And why is my memory so bad these days? I've been taking vitamins, trying to exercise my brain with memory tests, etc. but I have lost so much already and am only approaching mid-30s!?! So this worry leads me to the ultimate fear of dementia and Alzheimer's, which my grandmother and great-grandmother both had, but in varying forms. And that's just what I need is something else to worry about. I'm starting to gather that each thing I try to lay to rest in therapy is just going to open up something new to explore. These therapists really know what they're doing -- they getcha for life!